Excerpts from “Kamma and the end of Kamma” by Ajahn Sucitto.

A common pattern that forms around negative self-impressions is that of the ‘Inner Tyrant’. The Tyrant is the nagging voice that will always demand that you achieve impossible standards of perfection, never offers congratulation or appreciation, exaggerates shortcomings; and based on this, delivers a scolding. Sometimes the Tyrant offers just a cold, condescending stare. Sometimes the Tyrant keeps urging you to do more, to forgive others, to pull yourself together and to take responsibility – advice which may have its place, but is inappropriate when it comes to shifting self-view. It just entrenches the belief that this stuff is what I am. That view carries the weight that we’re trying to drop. And it comes from the involuntary action of adopting psychological patterns as ‘myself’. Stupid, but we’ve all done it (there’s the belief that I’ll find one that is satisfying, and fits!).

The Tyrant’s programs arise from a citta whenever it lacks stability and empathy; so the Tyrant develops because of a confused, non-empathetic human environment. The social need to get ahead, to be approved of, and to avoid being second-rate doesn’t allow for having empathy with what we or others are actually experiencing. Under this pressure, the mind splits into ‘how I’m feeling’ and ‘what I’m supposed to be’. Thus, empathy and wholeness get jettisoned, and the pressure gets stuck by being internalized as two conflicting ‘selves’ ; the Inner Tyrant as the agent of the pressure – and as its victim, ‘Little Me’.

Sometimes Little Me rebels, or seeks affirmation in order to become Big Me. And so the Tyrant in the mind creates another self-image which can’t sustain itself without continual ego-food. ‘I have to be efficient, always obliging and dutiful, yet self-sufficient – and relaxed.’ In fact, as long as you keep being Little Me, the victim, you support the fragmentation and the Tyrant. So rather than believe or fight with the Tyrant, or defend Little Me, the way out is to switch off the program through resolving the pattern. In other words, you drop the tendency to make a self-image out of changeable qualities – which indeed may not be ideal or perfect. (No personal qualities are.)

As you meet the sense of ‘it’s all up to me’, or ‘I don’t deserve to feel good’, or ‘I must try harder’, you can find areas of your body that feel tense, fidgety or contracted. Then you evoke your Refuge tone, and stay with that until there is some openness or ease – and it affects your body. Then widen awareness to cover the entirety of your embodied field; this suffusive effect restores the balance of the heart.

A balanced heart is naturally empathetic. Then you can direct it to the incapable, the failing, the unnoticed, and the success-failure ripples and patterns – wherever and in whoever they arise. Learn how to meet and relate to, rather than analyse, qualities before doing anything else. In fact, it may be all you have to do in order to touch into the disengagement that allows the heart to open in compassion – towards the Tyrant, Little Me, or anyone. Just to abide in compassionate awareness, not fixing, not blaming and not changing anything, may be exactly what’s needed – because then you’re not acting from that desperate, judgemental basis. Then you don’t have to perform that well to be warm and balanced within yourself. You don’t have to look like a supermodel to feel appreciated. You don’t have to have things go your way to feel content. You don’t need to have one special person in order to feel loved. What is needed is to cultivate great heart. And it arises through accepting and responding to the unsatisfactory condition of personality.

View is the instigator of kamma: as you believe, so do you act. View is a magnet that attracts the energy of will and inclinations: develop a certain attitude and you can be sure that your mind will assemble a reality out of that. But if we notice how the view ‘I am’ attracts energy … and how energy creates a pattern … and a mental pattern becomes a conviction … and a conviction becomes a standpoint – that’s how the isolated self arises. So as long as there is the need for a standpoint, a need to be, and to prove, then that need will support a self-view. Then if there is holding to that standpoint, conflict with others, grievance and resentment will follow in due course.

But if energy can go another way, generating a pattern of groundedness, of empathy, of great heart, the view can shift. It clears with the insight that ‘all this stuff, all this energy, is invoked by saṇkhārā, shaped by consciousness, given meaning by perception, resonating with feeling, productive of intention, and resulting in effects … All this is changing, insubstantial; there is no self in this, and no self can be established apart from this.’ We therefore act with integrity and don’t hang on. And there’s no stress, no weight in that.

Continued next week