stable ground: the pāramī

Selected excerpts from “Kamma and the end of Kamma” by Ajahn Sucitto.

Many of the Buddha’s teachings are based on generating bright kamma in daily life. He taught the Eightfold Path to establish purity of intent. If you work with this with regard to people, duties and events, you can live with self-respect, gladness and equanimity. You don’t get caught up in the judgements of success/failure, praise/blame; instead, you establish your Path, linger in and savour the good, and work with what arises.

However, we often do get caught up in the judgements of success/failure and one’s assessment gets internalized so then craving is driving the mind: ‘How long is it going to take me to achieve my goals?’ That’s the world arising, right there; it’s a race that can never be won, because the thirst to achieve creates the goal and the self who hasn’t achieved it. You climb one mountain, then you need to climb a higher or more risky one. What’s driving you? This process will always create stress. Stress can end, however, in accordance with the degree with which one can relinquish that thirst, that goal-orientation, that self. This is what is meant by purifying the intent. It means letting go of the search for fulfilment in terms of ‘world’.

Does this mean that there’s nothing to seek? Not really. Maintaining balance does take some doing; and for the citta to find any balanced ground there has to be motivation (chanda) towards purity, integrity and harmony. And this does give a reward in terms of one’s innate value or puñña, with the stability and good heart that this brings. Accordingly, the persistent cultivation of bright kamma is encouraged. In Buddhist cultures, a useful list of daily life trainings is that of the ten ‘perfections’ (pāramī or pāramitā).[36]

 Pāramī are also referred to as ‘qualities that cross over [the world]’ because by practising them in the everyday world, the mind brings forth bright qualities rather than seeking worldly gain. Avoiding the spin of gain and loss, these pāramī give you stable ground.

In the Theravada tradition, the pāramī are listed as generosity, morality, renunciation, wisdom/discernment, persistence, patience, truthfulness, kindness, resolution and equanimity. All these ask us to bring forth skill in response to what we experience; it’s a response which has liberation as its aim. It’s good to remember that liberation is not some ‘out there’ state; it just means the Path and Fruit of letting go of any degree of greed “aversion and delusion – and of the basis on which they arise. Through the practice of pāramī, we cultivate action that places qualities, rather than self-image, as the guides on the Path. It’s pretty fundamental; without that view, and without sustaining that aim and resolve, you don’t have a reliable foundation from which to meet life.

Generosity is about sharing – and not just in material terms. It’s an attitude to life; it’s a response to the interrelatedness that is the basis of all life. Most importantly, you share Dhamma by advice, and by example. Aiming one’s concern and goodwill for the welfare of others as much as for oneself helps to shift the ‘self-view’ to one in line with co-dependent arising. Action based on that view of interdependence generates a shared blessing. The giver feels joy and the receiver feels the effects of kindness: everyone gains.

Morality leads to self-respect and the trust of people around you. Renunciation draws you out of the grip of the materialist energies that control much of society. Discernment cuts through the blur of feelings to tell you coolly and clearly what qualities are skilful and what aren’t at this moment. Such discernment is required to steward and moderate energy so that it isn’t frittered away on the one hand, or strained on the other. The result is right persistence. And that brings around patience – to not rush, to allow things to move at a harmonious rate, and to bear with the tangle of social and personal conundrums that we face. Patience is great for wilful ‘got to get it done’ mind-sets. There’s a whole life of cultivation in this pāramī alone.

These pāramī are not always on display in the world; nor does their cultivation mean that you become a success in worldly terms. Take truthfulness: it may seem unlikely that you will become the leader of a political party or of a global corporation through such kamma. But maybe. A friend of mine in business told me that, years ago, he vowed to only deal honestly with clients – no false promises, no granting of favours, no illegal dodges. At first his business declined a little, but after a while, as people realized that they could trust that what he said was what he meant, they began to prefer that straight way of dealing and his business increased. Ethical business can make sense. At any rate, you always gain in terms of having self-respect, a clear conscience and friends that you can rely upon. Furthermore, goodwill and resolution will get you through the tough times. When the economy crashes or your health fails, when you’re bereaved or blamed, knowing how to live simply and be an equanimous witness to experience are real life-savers. “Taken as a whole, the practice of pāramī sets up values that skilfully direct the mind. Attitudes and energies that go towards self-aggrandizement, manipulation or distraction are cut off. And, as intention gets free of those biases, we notice different things – because what we look for affects what we look at.

To be continued

Editorial Note: Hello readers. Some of you will be wondering what’s been going on at this end, what with all these infrequent postings since end of October last year. So, looking at the most recent event, I’m putting together this piece of writing using the microphone rather than the keyboard (voice enabled text) … my voice in an empty room with words appearing on the screen – too fast. I need to find the right way to make a beginning…

Start here: Sunday February 2, I tripped, fell and landed on my hip while visiting one of the oldest temples in Bangkok, Wat Po. It was the week of Chinese New Year and crowds everywhere. I was taken through heavy traffic, mostly huge tour group buses to Vichayut hospital.

The worst pain wasn’t the fall itself, my friend Tristan got me up and helped with the agonized steps to where there was a cab. It was quickly decided to take a cab to the hospital rather than wait for an ambulance to find its way through all the narrow streets and people everywhere. When we arrived at the hospital, it was not in the emergency reception point and there were no medical professionals to get me on a stretcher, I had to kind of slide down from a raised seat in the cab and unknowingly landed on the injured leg.

The pain was the most immense I’d ever experienced; I was like a large trapped animal howling, suddenly and at high volume. In the mind’s eye the overruling thought was of punishment, something from childhood and I burst into tears. There were other times when the injured leg was pushed and the involuntary howl would be released again. They finally got me on to a wheeled stretcher and I was speeding along through wide polished corridors to the examination room then to the Xray department. Later the orthopaedic surgeon showed me a picture on his phone of the Xray image showing a long fracture in the upper femur.

The only way to go was Total Hip Replacement, no real alternative. So, sign the relevant forms, intravenous tubes inserted, received morphine and drifted off on a sea of fluffy green clouds.

Woke up next day afternoon in a hospital bed after they took me out of ICU and Jiab was there, told me it was done. Lying on my back thinking my body was not my own anymore, there’s a piece of platinum in my bone structure that’ll set off the alarm in Xray machines at the airport so I have to tell them before I pass through. At the time it felt like the whole of my right side was stiff and unresponsive. It wasn’t ‘my’ body now, in a sense the upper leg had been recreated by the surgeons and the team. Gratitude, for these karmic blessings and a good insurance that gets it all to spring into action.

But there was also a feeling I was a prisoner, held like this for hours and days and weeks lying immobile with all the pads and the tubes inserted; forced to sleep on my back. I never feel comfortable falling asleep while lying on my back, I usually turn foetus-like on my left and still the inclination is to turn on my side… but that’s a big no-no; instant pain. So that’s how it’s been for the last 6 weeks, sleeping like that but I got used to it. Many times, I thought so this is how it is, I can lie on my back and investigate the state of the body and the location of the pain and try to find some ease in there – it was all about stressed muscles and connecting nerves…. is there some ease to be found anywhere here? Or just riding with it, and see where that gets me. Then there are times when I arrive at a pain-free plateau and all my senses fall into a relaxed state. The tendency then is to let go and fall asleep but sometimes I remain there but it’s not an ‘I’ that remains, it’s just how it is. Without a sense of self, it’s not ‘my’ pain. The agony and the ache are rolling and tumbling across the landscape when I’m asleep, physical feelings are changing all the time. No ongoing happy or distressed state it’s just drifting along with variations between the two.

Now, I’m okay but unaided walking is more of a stumble than a walk so I still depend on the walker-frame which the physio-therapist says will become obsolete as I complete the remaining weeks of exercises. He says my walking gait will return to how it was before the event; the collision with gravity in Wat Po. Yes, the physio-therapist was a nice man although the exercises he put me through were agony and I’d have a sleepless night on the day of his visit, then the next day there’d be less of an ache. The day after he’d be back again – sessions 3 days a week for 4 weeks.

He had a sense of humour and I learned so much from him. Soon, I began to see an improvement; the muscles that were completely stuck before,began to move.

People would ask me if I’m on painkillers? What use are pain killers when there’s a man in a white coat fixing a 1 kilo cuff weight on my ankle with Velcro straps and insisting there’s a purpose behind all the pain so I have to stretch out my leg and lift the foot 10 times. He insists it’s a worthwhile and an honourable effort to get everything started again. Whatever… the thing is I slowly began to see an improvement; the muscles that were completely stuck were sending out the pain and he’d ask me where exactly this pain was and he could identify which is which and he’d do some massage with his fingers and get me to do an exercise for that particular muscle and that’s how I got to know where they were and to move each one.

I have to end now, there was an earthquake here: Friday 28 March 2025. The house wobbled maybe twice but no damage or harm. There’s so much more to say about the event and maybe I’ll return to this if I can cope with the microphone, voice enabled text function and the on-going editing process. That’s it, I hope all is well where you are, stay well. Best wishes

Tiramit

holistic kindness: mettā, the ninth pāramī

POSTCARD#420: Bangkok: Excerpts from Pāramī, Ways to Cross Life’s Floods” by Ajahn Sucitto. Click on the above link to download the file as pdf mobi or epub. Print copy also available by post.

Click on this link for the Karaniya Metta Sutta

Ajahn begins with mettā as loving-kindness that includes releasing others from being the objects of our projections, lust and idealism – self and other. Mettā allows others to not be the way I want them to be for me. Mettā means ‘recognizing otherness’. We don’t have to make people the same as ourselves or judge ourselves, based on what we think about other people.

It’s valuable to bring to mind that each of us has at some time been on the receiving end of freely given goodwill. So when you’re feeling bitter, anxious or lonely – remember this: at some time you have been seen with a loving and sympathetic eye.

The Mind of Self and Other

Mettā is an extension of the affective and responsive mind or heart. How crucial its alignment is! On the one hand, the mind can get trapped by fear, greed, hatred and delusion, and on the other hand it can extend in generosity and other perfections. The main issue for the mind is how it relates to what happens. Relationship is fundamental, because we are actually never a stand-alone being, but always a ‘being with’ or a ‘being in,’ or even a ‘being with the sense of being without.’

Consciousness is just this awareness of ‘being with’ in the various fields of seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching and thinking. And in that process of being with, consciousness automatically establishes the sense of a subject and an object: a seer who sees a visible object, a hearer who hears an audible object, etc. Out of that duality, the sense of self and other arises. That’s the program of consciousness.

Notice that self and other are relative positions that depend on each other. You can’t have an experience of self without an other (animate or inanimate) that is in contrast to it. However for each mind, the emphasis is on the self; the ‘me, mine’ part is the crucial aspect in a world of changing others. Even in your own mind, there appears the self (the subject) as a watcher and the other (the object) as thoughts and emotions. Or the self is how you conceive yourself as being, and other is what you should be, might be, or were.

This is self-view, and it’s the norm for unawakened beings. Self-view rests on the assumption that these dependently-arisen polarities are actually separate and autonomous. It infers a self, despite the inability of that self to own or control the body or mind that it adopts as its own; despite its genetic and psychological inheritance from others; and despite its inability to rest unsupported by sights, sounds, affection and purposeful activity – all of which are outside its dominion. Self-view is blind to interdependency. Consequently, its flooding ignorance sweeps us into a sense of separation and alienation, whilst all the time asserting that this is our empire.

Accepting Otherness

In the practice of kindness, we look into the mind as it is happening, a moment at a time, with the intention to gentle it out of the hold of aversion, depression and anxiety. To support this, the teaching is that, although the sense of self-other happens by default, we can have some say over its emotional and energetic flavouring. Our current intention doesn’t need to be tense, inadequate and critical; it can be uplifted and uncramped. The sense of self-other can catalyse and give occasion for an intention to offer support. This intention is essential for a happy life, because if we don’t use the relational experience in a kind and generous way, then defensiveness, anxiety, fault-finding and grudges are going to haunt our lives and impair the lives of others.

Mettā is non-aversion, but it’s also non-fascination and non-projection. It releases others from being the objects of our projections, lust and idealism. It allows others to not be the way I want them to be for me. True love for another means that you don’t appropriate someone or project your unfulfilled wishes or needs onto them. Instead, mettā means recognizing otherness, and feeling that it’s OK. We don’t have to make people the same as ourselves or judge ourselves, based on what we think about other people. We don’t have to feel we have to win them over, or feel that they should satisfy our emotional hunger. And when mettā is fully developed it can allow us to be with the irritating and the unfair and the messy, so that such perceptions no longer even take hold.

It’s the same for ourselves: when we hold ourselves with the mind of goodwill, we don’t have to feel intimidated and compelled to prove ourselves. We have all been small, weak and stupid. We have all been totally irresponsible infants, awkward adolescents, made a mess of things, lied, cheated and maybe even killed. Yet we changed. These were all visitors and forces that occupied the mind. Now there’s no denying the responsibility for allowing one’s mind to be so occupied, but our current responsibility is one of cultivating virtue, discernment and kindness, not of obsessing and sustaining the burden of guilt and denial. And one of the major healing tools for this process is mettā. With this we take on samsāra with non-aversion and non-projection. We can accept the presence of the petty-mindedness, the guilt and anxiety as visitors conditioned into the mind, and work with them. Then there is nothing to hide from or dread anymore. This is a more useful approach than going through another round of anguish, self-hatred and defensiveness. By stilling these reactions, mettā enables us to penetrate to, and remove, the root cause of ill-will – often towards ourselves – underneath the complexes.

Start with Empathy

If you can regard this mind as it really is, you become compassionate. People’s minds are conditioned and formed around circumstances. You realize that people may not know much about kindness simply because they haven’t received much of it. Hurtful, abusive things may have been done or said to them; appreciation and warmth may have been in short supply. Consequently, such minds can have sour flavourings which attach to their sense of self and others, and which engender aversive or mistrustful responses. The default then is a distorted relational sense in which pleasure and personal security come from besting others, even through making fun of or scapegoating them. A boundary has been created which blocks empathy. And it doesn’t even feel bad at first: getting more than another, putting others down or taking revenge has the same sweet burst to it as a drug. That’s why it takes over.

But it doesn’t have to, all that’s needed is for someone to tell the truth about suffering and the note of empathy is struck: ‘You mean you feel like that too!’  Suddenly the conflict, the ‘you’re so different from me,’ falls away. No one has changed anything except the self-other line up, but in that moment of empathy there is a mutual deepening. The way out of ill-will is not through judging who’s right, but through finding common ground. Kindness, or non-aversion, begins with empathy, the sense that we’re all in this same samsāric ocean together, struggling in the floods.

(Continued next week 21 May 2021 with Holistic Kindness, the Mettā Pāramī) Part 2)